Office Etiquette

Since I have been back to work for a week and a half now I have come across a few things I have to mention to get off my chest. While I am the "new girl" I don't dare express my opinion yet. They are still under the deception that I am "quiet" with my nose in the computer. If you have these habits please remember in the work place it is not only annoying, but socially unexceptable. So here's my observations...
First of all the "F" word is not in any type of professional jargon that I am aware of. (Well, unless you are a professional wrestler or on the Jerry Springer Show.)
"G D it" is not only not professional jargon but I am pretty sure that God doesn't answer that kind of request.
Loud belching and passing gas in the office and not only not excusing your self but rating your performance is not inpressive. Especially if remarks of "skid marks" are included.
Yes, I know not every woman shaves their legs everyday, but we do not want to feel your stumble or compare how long the hair is on my legs compared to yours.
Please refrain from plucking your whiskers (women) from your chin or neck in the office. The faces you make looking to the small hand held mirror is scary.

**Okay, I must stop here and admit some of this I have done, but not in the presence of co-workers, in the privacy of my home or with my group of friends (close friends, and you know who you are), not in front of patients and doctors.

By the way, this stuff is really happening in the Cardiology Office that I work in, with adults, educated, college educated, married or living with someone with children.

Now our dress code is black dress pants,kiaki dress pants, or nursing white pants. Pink, white, burgundy, or "french blue" (periwinkle) polo shirts w/ ebroidered logo, white lab coat and dress or tennis shoes. Okay. Well in the week I have been there I have seen low rider pants, not hip hugger but just above the pubic area pants, some with a red or orange stripe down the seam. The bottoms ratted out and hanging. Shoes that (no kidding) look like slippers, and one gal actually wore beige, pink and orange plaid shoes that were riped up. Shirts have been so low (v-neck) that clevage could be used as a storage closet.
There are approx. 50 + people who work on the floor I'm on and there is one bathroom for employees. Now I am on water pills and so there are days I am a frequently flyer. There seems to be an unspoken rule that there is at least a 30 second pause after someone leaves the bathroom before someone else is "cleared" to enter the bathroom. Otherwise the looks you get are almost paralyzing, and I have no time for a stop and go decision at that point.

Yet, I think my favorite is that a patient will call and someone will tell me that they took the call and what they advised the patient to do and then come tell me and say, "Will you chart that for me?" No, I won't "chart" that for you!

With being the "new" person there is one person who has told me everyday multiple times that she really isn't a "B", then proceeds to tell me everything about everyone else and what and who I should do and associate with. She is an "RN" and tells me that everyday. Her last day is Monday. Thank God for small favors. She has told the other new girl her story too, over and over. Any time I see her whispering I know that poor person standing there is hearing her sob story again.

So just in case you are worried, I do like my job and am tolerating a few people, but otherwise everyone is nice and helpful.

Well that is my story. Hope you got a good laugh.